Let’s face it, we love to drink, it’s a big part of our culture and something that should never be lost.
There’s nothing better than opening the door to an Irish pub when there is a band playing trad music and no matter what is on your mind in that moment, it’s soon forgotten!
But looking at things from a different perspective, it’s also a curse for our culture too.
Not for everyone but for those “lost souls” who know nothing other than drinking every weekend away.
I know because I’ve been one of them.
And it’s a big problem for many others too.
There are a lot of Irish people who are fortunate enough to have found some other interests and hobbies at a young age but for the vast majority, their only interest and hobby is getting on the session every weekend.
Inevitably, there comes a time where you start to grow out of that phase and you start to feel something that never really concerned you before.
You start to feel that maybe there could be something more to life than just work and drink.
And for an Irish expat, that’s a bitter feeling to swallow.
You’re surrounded by so many other expats who’s only hobby is of course drinking and partying every weekend.
And so when you start feeling the way you do it’s incredibly hard to break the mould and go your own way.
You look around and do a brief analysis of your life. You see your current friends being happy living this way and you begin to doubt your gut feeling of that there might be something more to life and you think that there is something wrong with you.
That is the make or break point for most expats.
It’s where you either have enough self belief to change direction in your life and pursue something new or it’s where you become a lost soul and drink your life away.
Luckily, I had just enough self belief.
Now as a life coach who helps so many other expats, I see this time and time again but the really unfortunate thing is that I can’t help all of those lost souls and I see how destructive their lives are as a result.
Hopefully this blog can be shared with someone close who’s heading down the wrong road or perhaps it might inspire you to make some changes.
Firstly, there is more to life, a lot more, you just haven’t found it yet and there are a few reasons why.
I’m going to explain these reasons below and hopefully they will give you some food for thought on addressing your problems.
The first reason that you haven’t found anything more to your life is because you haven’t actually looked for it.
Yes, as blunt as that is, it’s true. You haven’t stepped outside your comfort zone to pursue any of those things that you have buried in the back of your mind because you lack the self belief to go and do them.
Think of that surfing lessons you’ve been meaning to take, the camping trip, the business idea you had or the hike you wanted to do.
It’s in the act of doing those things that you will find the clues for the many other things you could do with your life and most importantly it’s where you will find some confidence outside of the pub.
The second reason that you haven’t found what you are looking for is because you lack the self belief in trying anything new.
There are a few reasons for this but mainly it’s because you haven’t never done anything that you have been thinking of doing before and neither has anyone in your social circle.
And so when you look for evidence of if it has been done before or better still, if you could do it, you don’t get any positive feedback and think, what’s the point, you simply won’t be able to do it either.
The third reason should be obvious at this stage but if not, it’s because of your social circle.
The thing is that they are happy and you are not but that doesn’t mean that they won’t become unhappy living the way they are living in the future.
So instead of being courageous enough to start living your own life you continue to try and fit in with your social circle, drinking more, acting even more destructively and becoming even more lost as a result.
What you really need to do is understand that these people are happy where they are in their life right now and you’re not, therefore they can’t and won’t support you in making any positive changes in your life.
This is all hard to read, I know but here’s what you can do to change.
1. Start pursuing the things that you’ve been dreaming off or at least the things you were dreaming off before you drowned them out with more and more alcohol.
It will be hard, I know, but its the road to your better life.
2. Make progress on something that is important to you, no matter how big or small.
Progress builds confidence and in turn your self belief, so as soon as you take a step towards doing something that is important to you, it will be the moment that your self belief starts to grow too.
3. Find some supportive people.
Like I said, you’re current circle can’t or won’t support you because they are happy doing what they are doing so think of someone who can.
Think of a friend of person you know who is living the way you would like to live and make a conscious effort to get yourself around that person. They will push you in the right direction and support you on your way.
I know there was a lot to take in in this blog but it is was important for me to share it and I hope it has given you some food for thought.
Lastly, I am here to help as many people as I can and I take great pride in my work so if you are feeling like its time to change and don’t want to keep on taking one step forwards and two backwards because you are trying to figure it all out on your own, let me help you.