Where to start?
There are so many things that can hold us back from living the life we want to live but I’m going to cover the most important one’s that you can easily identify to help you move forward towards your ideal self.
First of all there are two kinds of circumstances that can hold you back, internal circumstances and external circumstances.
Internal circumstances are things like procrastination, limiting beliefs, thinking in a fixed mindset and as a result having a low level of confidence that prevents you from taking any action on those big dreams you have.
External circumstances are things like having bad habits and being surrounded by the wrong social circle who criticise you, laugh at you or judge you whenever you talk about pursuing something new or “different.”
Either way, if you’ve got any of the above or all of them! It can be extremely hard to move towards anything that you would like to do in your life and finding out who you ultimately could become.
So what I’m going to do is help you realise where you might be tripped up or tripping yourself up so you can avoid these hurdles and take a step in the right direction for you in your life.
Firstly you can’t move forward if you don’t realise what is currently holding you back or what will hold you back in the future because as I’m sure you already know, whenever you do work up the courage to do something new, you only go so far before giving up.
That old analogy of one step forward and two steps backwards really applies here.
But don’t worry, just because you failed in the past doesn’t mean that you have to give up, it just means you’ve got to get smarter and look at what held you back from continuing to purse.
So I’m going to share something I help my Fit4Life clients with to get you moving again.
It’s not the things that hold you back that keep tripping you up it’s the triggers for them that do.
What does that mean?
Well let’s say that I have a bunch of friends that prevent me from pursuing a personal interest or goal every weekend because they keep taking me to the pub.
It isn’t the pub or my friends that are at fault, it’s the trigger that sets the ball rolling for me to fall off the wagon.
The trigger in this case would be a phone call to go to the pub.
And the reason you fall at every trigger is because you haven’t filled that trigger with a positive void.
A positive void would be getting in control of your procrastination through overcoming some of the internal circumstances you may be dealing with (we’ll chat about those soon!) and planning something for your weekend so that you’re kept busy in a positive way.
Now that you’ve identified the trigger, you’re going to try and avoid it by not answering the phone but if you must, you’ve already got a positive void there to use as an excuse.
That positive void could be meeting a friend for dinner, going to the cinema etc. Essentially it’s anything at all to keep you away from the thing that is continuously holding you back so you can move forward towards your goals.
Next up is the figuring out what the internal triggers are.
Let’s say you’re thinking about stepping outside your comfort zone to try something new.
What do you say to yourself?
Do you say;
“Yes, you could do that, 100%, go for it.”
Or do you say;
“You could never do that.”
“You’re to old?”
“You’re not good enough?”
“You’ve never done that before so you wont be any good at it?”
Now think if saying the above is helpful in moving you towards your goals? Certainly not.
So you’ve now identified the trigger.
You think about doing things but then start a loop of negative thinking.
So you’ve got to figure out the way you are thinking about things and replace it with something positive so don’t trip up at that hurdle again.
Something positive would be;
“If I try and fail, at least I’ll learn something.”
I’m not going to be great in the beginning but thats ok, the more effort I put into it, the better I’ll be.
This positive way of thinking is an extremely helpful void to fill your negative thinking with and will help you get over the hurdle to keep taking action on your goals.
We are what we think so make sure you aren’t becoming what you are thinking on a continual basis.
Everything you want in life can be achieved but you can’t keep burying your head in the sand and hope that one day you’ll get there.
Work on figuring out the hold backs, the triggers for them and then fill those voids.
I believe in you, it’s about time you did too.
If you want some more help with this, I would love to help you on your way.